Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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