Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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