if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
