theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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