i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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