So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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