After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
