I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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