And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
