Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
