Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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