why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize