I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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