I think I just saw someone hide a body.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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