Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize