Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
