You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
