Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Randomize
