I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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