clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
