We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
