i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
