your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
BRING THE BAGELS
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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