ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
there was a trapeze. enough said
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
