I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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