I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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