not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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