what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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