we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
