I wanna passion pit in your ass
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
