the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize