she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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