Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
