I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
