Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
