This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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