Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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