he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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