I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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