I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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