Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
third nipple confirmed
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
