Barsexuality is the new black.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize