k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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