No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have aggressive nipples.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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