he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
