I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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