he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
