So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
