I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
