ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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