Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
