There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
