as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you had me at cake vodka
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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