Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I love you. Go after that dick
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize