We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up under a house in Key West
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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