OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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