You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
