it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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