Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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