It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize