Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
