Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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