its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
