just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
