In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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