I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
