Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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