i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
