Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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