He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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